Dark humor Options

[tgn89]

İll go first : what does a cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend^^

Ans: wipe his butt

Here comes another one : black humor is like a pair of legs... Not everyone has it

Speaking of which if anyone has anymore of these....jokes, post them right here might be interesting

Third one reiching to you : What does a jew do with a ashtray ?

Anss: He/she is searching for some one

How do you fit six million Jews in a VW Beetle?

Put them in the ashtray

This post has been edited by tgn89: 23 Nov 2015, 23:42

[3rdShockArmy]

A man gets on a bus, and ends
up sitting next to a very
attractive nun. Enamored with
her, he asks if he can have sex
with her. Naturally, she says no,
and gets off the bus. The man
goes to the bus driver and asks
him if he knows of a way for him
to have sex with the nun. "Well,"
says the bus driver, "every night
at 8 o'clock, she goes to the
cemetery to pray. If you dress up
as God, I'm sure you could
convince her to have sex with
you." The man decides to try it,
and dresses up in his best God
costume. At eight, he sees the
nun and appears before her.
"Oh, God!" she exclaims. "Take
me with you!" The man tells the
nun that she must first have sex
with him to prove her loyalty.
The nun says yes, but tells him
she prefers anal sex. Before you
know it, they're getting down to
it, having nasty, grunty, loud sex.
After it's over, the man pulls off
his God disguise. "Ha, ha! I'm
the man from the bus!" "Ha, ha!"
says the nun, removing her
costume. "I'm the bus driver!"

[mcompany]

What do you call a dog with no legs?



Well, you can call him anything, but he won't come

[tgn89]

Hahaha....oh boy those are awesome thank you for joining fellas.

Why couldnt anne frank finish her diary ?

She needed more concentration

[(WbG)~SpeC~]

What do you think - where people truly pray to God? in a church or in a plane which denied one engine?
---------
A fire in a school in Texas. One firefighter says to the seconds:
- I'll be throwing of schoolboys out of the window, and you catch!
- OK!
A few minutes later:
- Why are you not catch blacks?
- Oh F%%%k! I thought that these burnt!
-------
p.s. just stupid black humor. not seriously %)

This post has been edited by (WbG)~SpeC~: 24 Nov 2015, 7:58

[tgn89]

Pwahaha that Öne was also funny

What is Hitlers favorite planet ?

Jewpiter

Where do you send a person diagnosed with ADHD

Concentration camp

How do you get a jewish girls number

Roll up her sleeve
Jew walks onto a bus, holding a large dufflebag. He asks for a senior discount, even though he couldn't be much older than 40. Driver asks for his ID, the Jew complains and refuses to pay full fare. It goes back and forth between the driver and Jew, both too stubborn to give in. In a rage, the driver throws the Jews dufflebag off the bus, and it tumbles down a hill. The Jew exclaims "What the fuck?! Just because I didn't pay full fare you try to kill my son?"


This post has been edited by tgn89: 24 Nov 2015, 8:07

[Skitt]

What’s blue and doesn’t fit?
A dead epileptic.

------------

So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.
Boy “hey mister its getting dark out and I’m scared”
Man “how do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone”

--------------

Why was the leper hockey game cancelled?
There was a face off in the corner

-----------

and an oldie but goodie.

A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window and jumps out.

The guy sitting next to him can’t believe what he just saw. He’s more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him.

The astonished onlooker asks, “How did you do that? I just saw you jump out the window, and we’re hundreds of feet above the ground!”

The jumper responds by slurring, “Well, I don’t get it either. I slam a shot of tequila, and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch.” He takes a shot, goes to the window and jumps out.

The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls to just above the sidewalk, slows down and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the jumper walks back into the bar.

The other guy has to try it, too, so he orders a shot of tequila. He slams it and jumps out the window. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn’t slow down at all. SPLAT!
The first guy orders another shot of tequila. The bartender shakes his head. “You’re really an a**hole when you’re drunk, Superman.”


and finaly.

While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, "No honey for you for one month!"

Later that afternoon, Johnny's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. "That's it! No butter for you for one month!" says his dad.

Later that evening as Johnny's mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her.

Little Johnny looks at his father and says, "Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?"

This post has been edited by mr_Skittles: 24 Nov 2015, 8:39

[Nemanja]

Why wasn't chicken able to cross the road ?

[Shiro]

A man is sentenced to death but can choose between several ways to go, so he picks a huge grill. He's placed on the grill and executioner puts on a fire under him. After around 10 minutes, the man says: "More coal!" So more coal is placed. Again, 10 minutes later, the man says: "More coal!" so even more coal is placed. Yet another ten minutes later, the man opens his mouth and the executioner says: "Yes yes I get it, more coal, right?" To which the man answers: "No no, the amount of coal is fine, I just wanted to inform you that you can flip me over, because this side is well done."

[tgn89]

I dunno why ?

Also: why does a jew pick his nose ?

Its cheaper than using a tissue

How many babies does it take to paint a wall

Depends on how hard you throw them

A ROTR Themed one : how do you get 6 million jews in a lynx ?
Throw a Penny in the lynx

How do you get them all out again ?

Tell them Adolf Hitler is driving

Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They dont know where home is

This post has been edited by tgn89: 24 Nov 2015, 10:05

[Nemanja]

I dunno why ?

Because it was disabled.

[tgn89]

Because it was disabled.

Lolsto
I got a question for you whats the difference between a boy scout and a jew ?

[Nemanja]

Lolsto
I got a question for you whats the difference between a boy scout and a jew ?

Besides nose,idk,what ?

[tgn89]

Besides nose,idk,what ?

Boy scouts come back from their camps

Heres a another one : Whats the difference between Adolf Hitler and Michael Phelps

Aaaaand heres another one for you folks

how do you pick up a jewish girl? with a broom and dustpan
what do you call a flying jew? smoke


This post has been edited by tgn89: 24 Nov 2015, 11:30

[Shiro]

Alright, that's enough jokes about holocaust victims. Come up with something that isn't about tragedy victims or I'll close this topic. We aren't 4chan, after all, we require a certain amount of human decency from all posters.

[tgn89]

Alright, that's enough jokes about holocaust victims. Come up with something that isn't about tragedy victims or I'll close this topic. We aren't 4chan, after all, we require a certain amount of human decency from all posters.

Jeez calm down i am pretty sure that everybody on this forum understands that we are just joking, besides the topics name is dark humor it is meant for jokes like this, but sure holocaust jokes get boring , anne frankly i understand that they make you very führerious (ok ill stop) well find something different than ziz billion , oy vey , i am not anti semite

This post has been edited by tgn89: 24 Nov 2015, 12:36

[NikCaputnic]

1)Q: How do you call a place in a cemetery for the cemetery-keeper? A: Living area.

2)Q: What is the difference between russian wedding and russian funeral? A: There is one drunkard less.

3)Q: There are two people in the car: one black man and one mexican. Who is driving? A: The policeman. (please don't ban me )

4) One little boy was swinging back and forth while sitting on chair. He fell down and broke all six legs.

This post has been edited by NikCaputnic: 24 Nov 2015, 12:40

[tgn89]

1)Q: How do you call a place in a cemetery for the cemetery-keeper? A: Living area.

2)Q: What is the difference between russian wedding and russian funeral? A: There is one drunkard less.

3)Q: There are two people in the car: one black man and one mexican. Who is driving? A: The policeman. (please don't ban me )

Harhrhar got a question can orphans eat at a family restaurant ?
(Ok now that was dark)

[Shiro]

Jeez calm down i am pretty sure that everybody on this forum understands that we are just joking, besides the topics name is dark humor it is meant for jokes like this, but sure holocaust jokes get boring , anne frankly i understand that they make you very führerious (ok ill stop) well find something different than ziz billion , oy vey , i am not anti semite

I wasn't joking there. Also, argueing with a Moderator is a bad idea in general. See you again tomorrow.