DPRK Forces of the Third Korean War, (2029-2033) Options

[Kalga]

Note: this is a based on the update The Story of Others Part III and yes I know the DPRK does not exist anymore by the end of the Third Korean War (2033).

I want to write this as a semi joke, so expect lots of [intentional] propaganda and [also intentional] misinformation.

Enjoy!

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Official DPRK info: The glorious Korean People's Army is the most powerful army in the known world! No nation on this planet can hope to challenge it!

JUCHE STRONK! JUCHE STRONK! JUCHE STRONK!

Western lies [analysis]: The Korean People's Army of the Third Korean War Conflict was little different than the Army that lost the previous two Korean Conflicts relative to it's neighbor's military strengths. Though elite units have access to [somewhat] modern weapons and equipment much of their army are still equipped with weapons that even the PRC Red Guard finds as obsolete (which incidentally accounts for the fact that much of their equipment during this era were from surplus PRC supplies). More shockingly though was the fact that certain high tech PLA weapons were to find their way into the ranks of various elite KPA units... The only reason that the conflict lasted for over five years was the persistent [covert] military and logistical support from the PRC, as well as the deadlock in the UN and lack of Western support for the ROK.

Unit list:

Worker Conscript:

Official DPRK info: The strong workers of the our glorious nation takes up arms against the Western Imperialist! His dedication to the cause shall drive those capitalist pig-dogs to the sea!

Western lies [analysis]: The average KPA conscript is poorly equipped, underfed, badly led, and utterly lacking in motivation, mostly armed with AKMs, they died in doves while accomplishing little besides attaching enemy fire. That being said, in large numbers they can overrun even entrenched positions.

Worker RPG Conscript:

Same as above, except this case with RPG-7s.

Commandos

Official DPRK info: The finest soldiers of the world, they can punch through walls with their bare hands, kill multiple snipers with only a pistol, etc. etc.

Western lies [analysis]: The KPA has one of the world's largest special forces, though highly trained, their lack of actual combat experiences puts them somewhat of a disadvantage compare to their Western counterparts. They are very stealthy however and can wreck a base if unchecked...

Grandmaster Tank

Official DPRK info: This tank eats K2 Black Panthers for breakfast!

Western lies [analysis]: Surplus first generation Chinese Battlemasters (Type-59), these tanks formed the bulk of the KPA armor divisions by 2025. During the Third Korean Conflict they were knocked out by the dozens.

Juche Tank

Official DPRK info: The pride of the KPA, these great tanks roll over all enemies!

Western lies [analysis]: Somehow, around 20 Chinese Devastator Tanks were given/sold to the DPRK. Their disappointing performance in the Third Korean Conflict led to their [premature] retirement in the PLA.

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More will come later, depends on feedback.

This post has been edited by Kalga: 7 Feb 2014, 3:29

[Neo3602]

This is hilarious, you should definitely continue

[Kalga]

Here's the next batch:

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DPRK CAN INTO AIR SUPERIORITY!

Though the Korean People's Air force is large in terms of personal and aircraft, lack of training, fuel, and spare parts has generally kept them from making any meaningful contributions in the Third Korean Conflict beside the defense of Pyongyang's airspace and the occasional commando raid.

KPAF MiG Fighter

Official DPRK info: Our glorious fighters keeps our nation's skies safe. Each MiG can take out a fleet of F-22 Raptors!

Western lies [analysis]: The same MiG 15s* (or their exact copies) from the first Korean War once again take to the skies above Korea. Hopelessly obsolete even against modern MANPADS (Man-portable air-defense systems), they never stood a chance.

KPAF MiG Bomber

Official DPRK info: Even the mightiest of buildings and tanks fear our powerful bombers!

Western lies [analysis]: Nanchang Q-5 ground attack plane, limited weapon loads limiting its impact on the battlefield. Very susceptible to ground AA fire.

KPAF Assault Transport Helicopter

Official DPRK info: This mighty helicopter transport our armies to any place in the world and can clear out a landing zone in a matter of minutes!

Western lies [analysis]: Chinese made Helix (export model), lacking a bomb bay but does have a pair of grenade launchers in addition to its standard Gatling guns.


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*Yes I know that MiG 15s only serve in a limited trainer role in the modern KPAF, but hey, might as well throw in stuff like this when the PRC in this setting still uses obsolete weapons like the battlemaster tank.

[Cobretti]

I laughed at JUCHE STRONK and KPA CAN INTO AIR SUPERIORITY! And as for the last part about the MiG-15, the Chinese still do use the Type-59 and Type-88 in non-frontline roles I recall, and in Generals/RotR they're used by the Red Guard rather than the PLA proper (who use some variant of the Type 99, I believe).

[Kalga]

... and now for a dose of completely insane units (I guess as a parody of all those super units of other fan-made factions...)

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Unconfirmed/experimental units*

complete bullshit

Kim Jong Il Super Heavy Tank

Official DPRK info: This 1000t tank has wipeed out entire divisions of the Capitalists own Juggernaught super heavy tanks without even taking a scratch!

Western lies [analysis]: No example of this "super tank" has ever been seen. In fact, even a decade after the war not even the blueprints of this vehicle has be discovered. On a side note, only one Juggernaught super heavy tank** was ever produced, though it was stationed on the former DMZ...

Kim Il Sung Flying Battleship

Official DPRK info: The pride of the Korean People's Air Force, the Kim Il Sung Flying Battleship has 16 18in railguns, as well as hundreds of SAMs and other guns. We will wipe out all of Japan with this vessel!

Western lies [analysis]: Perhaps the most pathetic example of DPRK's propaganda, it is a load of bullshit. According to top scientists from SWR institute of Technology it is "simply not possible to construct a flying battleship without some industrial grade handwaveium".

Jucheman

Official DPRK info: Hero of the Korean people and the embodiment of all that is Juche, Jucheman fights capitalism everywhere he goes. It was Jucheman who freed China from the barbaric hordes during the GLA War.

Western lies [analysis]: Yet another pathetic example of DPRK's propaganda, there is no evidence of the existence of this "Jucheman" outside of a few official propaganda photos...
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*Probably never existed, given the state of the late DPRK's economy & technological (or to be more precise, the lack of) development.

**read this if you're wondering what the heck is going on: http://forums.swr-productions.com/index.ph...ost&p=65854

[Neo3602]

These ones are funnier than the first ones, I especially like the reference to the Juggernaught, also the "industrial grade handwaveium".

[X1Destroy]

Highly entertaining, I like it

[Kalga]

... and now let's get back to the more mundane units...

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ZSU-57-2

Official DPRK info: Armed with two powerful 57mm cannons, out anti-air tanks can knock out even the mightiest of capitalist aircrafts!

Western lies [analysis]: Lacking modern radar system, these ancient self propelled AA guns pose little threat to modern aircrafts. though due to the nature of 57mm guns they are a protent threat to infantry and light vehicles.

SU-100

Official DPRK info: The sniper of tanks, all capitalist tanks beware!

Western lies [analysis]: A relic of WW II, only a threat to lightly to medium armored vehicles.

BM-21 Grad

Official DPRK info: All enemies of the DPRK fear the hail of rocket from this majestic beast!

Western lies [analysis]: Standard BM-21, its rockets (when fired in a single volley) have a large area of effect. Harden fortifications however can withstand the rockets.

VTT-323

Official DPRK info: Countless numbers of these IFVs carrying and supporting our troops to the battlefields faster than any capitalist car!

Western lies [analysis]: A fairly normal APC with very limited anti tank/air ability (in the form of a single anti tank missile/SAM). Very light armor and no active defense. Only seen in limited numbers as the KPA prioritize their limited fuel supplies to mostly their tanks.

M-1978 Koksan

Official DPRK info: No fortifications in the world can withstand the shells of this mighty artillery!

Western lies [analysis]: One of the largest self propelled guns in the world, however it lacks anything more than the most basic protection, making them easy targets to even infantry if caught in the wrong place.

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[Pepo]

no mention to the glorious leader/party???

anyway good stuff, it was a good laugth

[Serialkillerwhal...]

Stop rubbing in that joke.

Godamnit.

Also, as a suggestion for the flying battleship, mention that it's a unit from a very poorly made sequel to an acclaimed RTS series badly photoshopped with North Korea flags.

This post has been edited by Serialkillerwhale: 8 Apr 2014, 12:11