Dark humor |
Dark humor |
23 Nov 2015, 23:08
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#1
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Group: Members Posts: 285 Joined: 9 May 2012 Member No.: 9109 |
İll go first : what does a cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend^^
Ans: wipe his butt Here comes another one : black humor is like a pair of legs... Not everyone has it Speaking of which if anyone has anymore of these....jokes, post them right here might be interesting Third one reiching to you : What does a jew do with a ashtray ? Anss: He/she is searching for some one How do you fit six million Jews in a VW Beetle? Put them in the ashtray This post has been edited by tgn89: 23 Nov 2015, 23:42 -------------------- DOZER move aside !
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24 Nov 2015, 1:48
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#2
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Chat Nick Group: Members Posts: 845 Joined: 12 April 2015 From: Serbia Member No.: 11096 If you ever decide to invade Russia, for the love of God, bring some warm clothes. We don't want you to blame the "evil Russian winter" when you get crushed, like everyone else who tried. |
A man gets on a bus, and ends
up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no, and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun. "Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I'm sure you could convince her to have sex with you." The man decides to try it, and dresses up in his best God costume. At eight, he sees the nun and appears before her. "Oh, God!" she exclaims. "Take me with you!" The man tells the nun that she must first have sex with him to prove her loyalty. The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex. Before you know it, they're getting down to it, having nasty, grunty, loud sex. After it's over, the man pulls off his God disguise. "Ha, ha! I'm the man from the bus!" "Ha, ha!" says the nun, removing her costume. "I'm the bus driver!" -------------------- |
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24 Nov 2015, 5:13
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#3
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Group: Members Posts: 43 Joined: 13 July 2015 From: Portland, Oregon, USA Member No.: 11751 |
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Well, you can call him anything, but he won't come |
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24 Nov 2015, 7:23
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#4
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Group: Members Posts: 285 Joined: 9 May 2012 Member No.: 9109 |
Hahaha....oh boy those are awesome thank you for joining fellas.
Why couldnt anne frank finish her diary ? She needed more concentration -------------------- DOZER move aside !
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24 Nov 2015, 7:52
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#5
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Group: Members Posts: 62 Joined: 28 March 2015 From: Russia, Wiipury Member No.: 10944 old bastard |
What do you think - where people truly pray to God? in a church or in a plane which denied one engine?
--------- A fire in a school in Texas. One firefighter says to the seconds: - I'll be throwing of schoolboys out of the window, and you catch! - OK! A few minutes later: - Why are you not catch blacks? - Oh F%%%k! I thought that these burnt! ------- p.s. just stupid black humor. not seriously %) This post has been edited by (WbG)~SpeC~: 24 Nov 2015, 7:58 -------------------- when you say a little - it is easier to stick to what has been said © Sauli Niinistö
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24 Nov 2015, 8:02
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#6
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Group: Members Posts: 285 Joined: 9 May 2012 Member No.: 9109 |
Pwahaha that Öne was also funny
What is Hitlers favorite planet ? Jewpiter Where do you send a person diagnosed with ADHD Concentration camp How do you get a jewish girls number Roll up her sleeve Jew walks onto a bus, holding a large dufflebag. He asks for a senior discount, even though he couldn't be much older than 40. Driver asks for his ID, the Jew complains and refuses to pay full fare. It goes back and forth between the driver and Jew, both too stubborn to give in. In a rage, the driver throws the Jews dufflebag off the bus, and it tumbles down a hill. The Jew exclaims "What the fuck?! Just because I didn't pay full fare you try to kill my son?" This post has been edited by tgn89: 24 Nov 2015, 8:07 -------------------- DOZER move aside !
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24 Nov 2015, 8:37
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#7
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Group: Moderator Posts: 1641 Joined: 8 January 2015 From: Newcastle, England Member No.: 10811 Aut vincere aut mori, Cave quid dicis, quando, et cui, De duobus malis, minus est semper eligendum. |
What’s blue and doesn’t fit?
A dead epileptic. ------------ So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods. Boy “hey mister its getting dark out and I’m scared” Man “how do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone” -------------- Why was the leper hockey game cancelled? There was a face off in the corner ----------- and an oldie but goodie. A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window and jumps out. The guy sitting next to him can’t believe what he just saw. He’s more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him. The astonished onlooker asks, “How did you do that? I just saw you jump out the window, and we’re hundreds of feet above the ground!” The jumper responds by slurring, “Well, I don’t get it either. I slam a shot of tequila, and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch.” He takes a shot, goes to the window and jumps out. The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls to just above the sidewalk, slows down and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the jumper walks back into the bar. The other guy has to try it, too, so he orders a shot of tequila. He slams it and jumps out the window. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn’t slow down at all. SPLAT! The first guy orders another shot of tequila. The bartender shakes his head. “You’re really an a**hole when you’re drunk, Superman.” and finaly. While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, "No honey for you for one month!" Later that afternoon, Johnny's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. "That's it! No butter for you for one month!" says his dad. Later that evening as Johnny's mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, "Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?" This post has been edited by mr_Skittles: 24 Nov 2015, 8:39 -------------------- |
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24 Nov 2015, 9:05
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#8
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Group: Members Posts: 1863 Joined: 17 April 2012 Member No.: 9081 |
Why wasn't chicken able to cross the road ?
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24 Nov 2015, 9:39
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#9
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Gamer Girl Group: Legend Posts: 3808 Joined: 19 June 2009 From: Disboard Member No.: 182 Friendly Freelancer |
A man is sentenced to death but can choose between several ways to go, so he picks a huge grill. He's placed on the grill and executioner puts on a fire under him. After around 10 minutes, the man says: "More coal!" So more coal is placed. Again, 10 minutes later, the man says: "More coal!" so even more coal is placed. Yet another ten minutes later, the man opens his mouth and the executioner says: "Yes yes I get it, more coal, right?" To which the man answers: "No no, the amount of coal is fine, I just wanted to inform you that you can flip me over, because this side is well done."
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24 Nov 2015, 9:43
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#10
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Group: Members Posts: 285 Joined: 9 May 2012 Member No.: 9109 |
I dunno why ?
Also: why does a jew pick his nose ? Its cheaper than using a tissue How many babies does it take to paint a wall Depends on how hard you throw them A ROTR Themed one : how do you get 6 million jews in a lynx ? Throw a Penny in the lynx How do you get them all out again ? Tell them Adolf Hitler is driving Why can’t orphans play baseball? They dont know where home is This post has been edited by tgn89: 24 Nov 2015, 10:05 -------------------- DOZER move aside !
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24 Nov 2015, 10:22
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#11
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Group: Members Posts: 1863 Joined: 17 April 2012 Member No.: 9081 |
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24 Nov 2015, 10:30
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#12
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Group: Members Posts: 285 Joined: 9 May 2012 Member No.: 9109 |
Because it was disabled. Lolsto I got a question for you whats the difference between a boy scout and a jew ? -------------------- DOZER move aside !
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24 Nov 2015, 10:48
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#13
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Group: Members Posts: 1863 Joined: 17 April 2012 Member No.: 9081 |
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24 Nov 2015, 10:53
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#14
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Group: Members Posts: 285 Joined: 9 May 2012 Member No.: 9109 |
Besides nose,idk,what ? Boy scouts come back from their camps Heres a another one : Whats the difference between Adolf Hitler and Michael Phelps Aaaaand heres another one for you folks how do you pick up a jewish girl? with a broom and dustpan what do you call a flying jew? smoke This post has been edited by tgn89: 24 Nov 2015, 11:30 -------------------- DOZER move aside !
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24 Nov 2015, 12:08
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#15
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Gamer Girl Group: Legend Posts: 3808 Joined: 19 June 2009 From: Disboard Member No.: 182 Friendly Freelancer |
Alright, that's enough jokes about holocaust victims. Come up with something that isn't about tragedy victims or I'll close this topic. We aren't 4chan, after all, we require a certain amount of human decency from all posters.
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24 Nov 2015, 12:33
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#16
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Group: Members Posts: 285 Joined: 9 May 2012 Member No.: 9109 |
Alright, that's enough jokes about holocaust victims. Come up with something that isn't about tragedy victims or I'll close this topic. We aren't 4chan, after all, we require a certain amount of human decency from all posters. Jeez calm down i am pretty sure that everybody on this forum understands that we are just joking, besides the topics name is dark humor it is meant for jokes like this, but sure holocaust jokes get boring , anne frankly i understand that they make you very führerious (ok ill stop) well find something different than ziz billion , oy vey , i am not anti semite This post has been edited by tgn89: 24 Nov 2015, 12:36 -------------------- DOZER move aside !
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24 Nov 2015, 12:35
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#17
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Group: Members Posts: 158 Joined: 3 November 2015 From: Near to the Heart of my Motherland Member No.: 12315 |
1)Q: How do you call a place in a cemetery for the cemetery-keeper? A: Living area.
2)Q: What is the difference between russian wedding and russian funeral? A: There is one drunkard less. 3)Q: There are two people in the car: one black man and one mexican. Who is driving? A: The policeman. (please don't ban me ) 4) One little boy was swinging back and forth while sitting on chair. He fell down and broke all six legs. This post has been edited by NikCaputnic: 24 Nov 2015, 12:40 |
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24 Nov 2015, 12:40
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#18
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Group: Members Posts: 285 Joined: 9 May 2012 Member No.: 9109 |
1)Q: How do you call a place in a cemetery for the cemetery-keeper? A: Living area. 2)Q: What is the difference between russian wedding and russian funeral? A: There is one drunkard less. 3)Q: There are two people in the car: one black man and one mexican. Who is driving? A: The policeman. (please don't ban me ) Harhrhar got a question can orphans eat at a family restaurant ? (Ok now that was dark) -------------------- DOZER move aside !
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24 Nov 2015, 14:50
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#19
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Gamer Girl Group: Legend Posts: 3808 Joined: 19 June 2009 From: Disboard Member No.: 182 Friendly Freelancer |
Jeez calm down i am pretty sure that everybody on this forum understands that we are just joking, besides the topics name is dark humor it is meant for jokes like this, but sure holocaust jokes get boring , anne frankly i understand that they make you very führerious (ok ill stop) well find something different than ziz billion , oy vey , i am not anti semite I wasn't joking there. Also, argueing with a Moderator is a bad idea in general. See you again tomorrow. |
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